As I Wander with Lauren Lanoue

Episode 11: Four Things Writing a Book Proposal Taught Me

• Lauren Lanoue • Season 1 • Episode 11

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In this episode, I'm talking about four things that I learned while writing a book proposal. This process taught me a tremendous amount about myself, myself as a writer, and the people I am writing for based on what I want to write about. The themes of my content are taking a different turn than I expected, and I'll be talking about this as well as some news about the future of this podcast, As I Wander with Lauren Lanoue.

As always, I'm so happy you're here. Here are a couple of things I mention in the podcast episode:

The Practice by Seth Godin

More about my content and mission shifts

Also, here's a "head's up" that this will be the last episode for the summer. I'm taking this summer off in order to create space for envisioning where this podcast needs to go next. To keep in contact, and to get all the most up-to-date information, sign up for my monthly newsletter, Rule-Breaking News.

If you'd like to read my writing, connect, or otherwise support this growing community that we're cultivating, here are a few ways to do just that:

Thanks again for listening! Until next time, rest easy and travel well. Here’s to finding home wherever we make it!

If you'd like to read my writing, connect, or otherwise support this growing community that we're cultivating, here are a few ways to do just that:

Thanks again for listening! Until next time, rest easy and travel well. Here’s to finding home wherever we make it!

You're listening to As I Wander with Lauren Lanoue. I am Lauren Lanoue, and this is episode 11.

 

This is a podcast about finding home or making it right where we are on our own unique journeys. 

 

Whatever brings you here, and whatever you've brought with you. Welcome. Every piece of you. 

 

I have some news for you today that I will save for the end of this episode because it will help explain some of the recent shifts in my writing and by extension…this podcast. 

 

I've been working on something. I've been writing a book proposal. This process, as any difficult thing that we do, has grown me and changed me.  And so, I thought I'd share 4 of the things that writing a book proposal taught me. 

 

And of course, then, I'll share the news so I invite you to stick around till the end so you get all the juicy details. 

 

For these next few minutes, kick back, relax, and enjoy because you're home. 

 

And I’m so happy you’re here. 

 

In case you’re wondering what the heck a book proposal is, authors write a book proposal if they want to get traditionally published. A book proposal includes a book outline, chapter summaries, marketing plans, and all the reasons the publisher should want to publish the book. The proposal’s goal is to convince editors to publish you or literary agents to represent you.

 

It’s a big project in itself, and while I haven’t gotten a book deal or literary agent as of yet, writing the proposal has been its own reward in the treasure trove of lessons it has already taught me. This process required me to do a deep dive into who I am especially as a person and as a writer, my mission and goals for writing, who I am writing for, and what I want to write about.

 

Here are four things I’ve learned in the process:

 

Number one

Focusing on the creative practice is far superior to focusing on the outcomes. 

 

Book proposals are a lot of work and require a tremendous amount of focus. The whole time I was writing, I fought those glittery distractions brought up by the content of the proposal. 

 

“I need to focus on my social media content. My follower count is too low to get a book deal. How can I grow my social media audience?” 

 

“Oh! And my newsletter subscribers…that’s the most important thing for a writer according to all the research I’ve done, and they’re going to laugh at this number; I just know it.”

 

“What if I don’t have enough to say to write a whole book?” 

 

“Who am I to write this book? I’m not qualified to do this. No one’s going to care what I have to say.”

 

And that’s just a small sampling of the things going through my head, keeping me from focusing on the process of writing. There were so many more thoughts and insecurities, things trying to pull me out of my desk chair, trying to pull my focus away from “the practice.”

 

And isn’t that the way it goes? We have some goal we badly want to accomplish, but our attention gets pulled away from it by things that “must be done right away,” our insecurities, and all the possible outcomes—success, failure, or something much worse. There seems to always be some other thing distracting us from THE thing.

 

But what if we focused on the practice, the process, instead of worrying about what might happen. We can control what we do. We cannot control the outcomes. What if we chose to stubbornly focus on the practice instead of allowing our obsession with the outcome to steal our attention away from what is most important? 

 

Number two 

The gnawing need for reassurance will work overtime to distract us and delay us from accomplishing something great.

 

While I was busy writing, I was also reading a terrific and easy-to-read book that I highly recommend for any creative or entrepreneur called The Practice by Seth Godin. In this book, he writes, “Worrying is the quest for a guarantee, all so we can find the confidence to press on.”

 

I began to notice this at play as I wrote the proposal. I would get to a certain point and worry if I was on the right track or not. I would think to myself, “I should ask so-and-so for advice.” Once I began to notice this habit of mine, I realized what I was really doing in these moments was procrastinating and looking for reassurance to give me a little boost of confidence, just enough to keep me going. 

 

The problem with external reassurance is that little boost of confidence it gives us doesn’t last. As Seth Godin puts it, “Reassurance is futile…we need an infinite amount of reassurance, delivered daily, to build up our confidence. There will never be enough.” 

 

And so I decided I would learn to reassure myself. Sometimes, we don't need advice. We need to trust ourselves and get back to work.

 

 Number three 

Some things are trying to get our attention not steal it, and these things are worth listening to.

 

How do you tell the difference? That’s something I am still learning, but I suppose the first step is noticing that there is a difference. Perhaps the biggest difference is how it gets your attention. Attention “thieves” usually do so by telling you what you “should” be doing better or differently. They use shame to motivate you, telling you you’re not good enough. 

 

But sometimes, there is a gentle prodding whisper that wants your attention, too, but it doesn’t use shame as a motivator. It simply points and whispers gently as many times as it takes until you start to take notice of what it’s trying to show you. 

 

While writing my book proposal, I began to notice a gentle nudge pointing at my mission statement and what I had been writing about for nearly a year. I couldn’t ignore or brush it off as a distraction or anxiety, and so I leaned in to that whisper. 

 

And it helped me to see that the books I wanted to write and the person I was becoming no longer fit in the box I had crafted for myself as a writer. After processing this with a friend, I realized in an instant what my intuition had been trying to tell me for months. 

 

It was time for change.

 

number four 

Embracing growth and change is beautiful but also painful even when we feel confident about our decision.

 

I wrote more a bit more detail about the changes I’m making which you can still read when you join my Substack newsletter. The link will be in the show notes, but here’s a brief overview. 

 

Previously, it was my mission as a writer and podcaster to help us learn to find home or make it wherever we are on our own unique journeys. While I still think this is an important topic, I discovered through the writing process one of the biggest blocks keeping us from feeling at home right where we are is our rulebooks.

 

What rulebooks?

 

We each have a mental rulebook that houses rules and expectations telling us what our lives “should” look like. They tell us how we “should” behave, think, look, and feel, and they tell us that we are not “good enough” when we can’t meet the impossible standard the rulebook lays out for us.

 

Over the past couple of years, I have been investigating these rules and the dangers they present. I realized that trying to live up to the impossible standard the “rulebook” represents had disconnected me from my authentic self, had kept me from true community, and stifled any and all organic spiritual, personal, or relational growth.

 

I believe that all of us are negatively affected by these rules which is why I’ve decided to shift my mission and focus to helping us learn to recognize and dismantle these rules and mindsets that keep us from connection and stifle our growth.

 

I am ready to embrace this change because it feels like coming home to myself, more me and more free, even if it’s more than a bit scary to make a change like this. It requires being less invisible and a bit less…safe. This may mean that my writing and future podcast episodes may be too challenging for some people, but I am confident that this change will serve my readers and listeners (that’s you) better.

 

I look forward to continuing to provide you with content you love. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have. In the meantime, thanks for celebrating with me and sticking with me through these shifts! And once I get that book deal, I’ll be sure to let you know!

 

Now that you have heard about some of the upcoming changes to my content, it's time for the bit of news I mentioned in the beginning. 

 

First of all, this episode will be our last episode for the Summer. It's my kiddo's last summer before she starts Kindergarten so I'm planning to be spending a lot of time with her. 

 

Even after the summer, I haven't decided quite yet what to do with this podcast. I have enjoyed creating this space for you, but as you heard, my focus is shifting and I’m not sure what this change will mean for the podcast quite yet.

 

I'm learning to trust myself and my intuition, and my intuition was telling me it is time to take a break. I need space and time to make this decision. 

 

For now, we're pausing, and if you enjoy this podcast, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter as that will give you the most up-to-date information about future podcast episodes and other news.

 

You can find the link to sign up in the show notes. I really hope you will connect with me there. 

 

Thank you so much for listening today, and I can't wait to meet you here again soon.

 

Until next time, rest easy and travel well. 

 

Here's to finding home wherever we make it.